Cell

I currently (and probably for the next two months as well) work in a building without running water. There will be a toilet soon, but the bathroom has no doors yet, and no windows either. There also is no phone. And because Alison sometimes wants to make arrangements with me (pick up this or that food item; no, I can’t make movie night tonight since I’ve to work late, et cetera.) she told me to get a cell phone.

Your honour, please don’t punish me, she made me do it!

Getting the damn thing was a big hassle however. Since I want to update my address-book on my Mac I needed a phone with Bluetooth. Those phones are considered high end here (they are a bit behind in North-America) and since I’m cheap I didn’t want to pay too much for it. So I went for a branded phone for a Canadian music channel, which was half the price of the same phone ‘normal. These branded phones where not available in stores so I had to order mine online. So I did. Four days later, last Monday I found a big yellow sticker on our front door. That angered Alison, because it’s a invitation for burglars that nobody is home. But I digress. I called them to have the package delivered again, now on a time that I was home. “Sorry, we deliver between 8 and 5,” said the representative of UPS. “Well, there is nobody home at those times,” I replied, “but can I have it delivered to my wife’s work address?” “No, sorry, we can’t do that because you have to sign personally for it.” Okay, than have it sent to my work-address, but it’s a job site so nobody is there before nine, and I might be in the back and there is no bell. That’s why I need the phone.” I gave her the address and the [package was going to be delivered at our home address tomorrow (“the trucks are already loaded”) and at my work address Wednesday. So Wednesday I kept a half eye on the door and warned my co-workers that I expected a package. But at 5:30, still no package. At home I called them again and found out they made an attempt to deliver at 8:03 in the morning. Grrrr.
Okay, they will try again tomorrow. “But I’m working on a different address (another floor) tomorrow, I explained, so please change the delivery address?” “Okay, sir, we’ll deliver it there.

The next day, again, no package. When I came home I called them again. “O, sir we see the package has been delivered at 15:14.” “That’s impossible, I haven’t got it and I have to sign for it and show photo I.D.” “Well the driver claimed he has a signature from Mark…”

So my phone is lost. I have to call back Friday so they can do some research and ask the driver exactly where he delivered it, maybe it was the wrong address.

Friday I find out that the package is delivered to the ground floor address, where somebody lives who always complains about the noise we make, but she was away for the whole week. I call her anyway and she says: “Ah, I already thought why I got this cell phone. I found it on my front porch when I arrived this morning.”

So my phone was not lost anymore and Sunday I picked it up at her place, after the walk with the dogs.

So now I have a cell phone. But I won’t tell anybody my number.