It’s my birthday today but I’m totally not in the mood for a party. Alison is in Toronto, and I’m invited by friends to celebrate my birthday with them. Even though i didn’t feel like it I reluctantly went. It costs a lot of energy to appear human.

The supper was great, the cake was lovely, the company pleasant, but nevertheless I wasn’t able to really enjoy it.

This depressive episode lasts a couple of weeks now and I’m want it to be over. I can only see the negative side of things, the house that needs lot of maintenance, the tenants that refuse the rent increase, my lack of friends, clients that didn’t pay my invoices etc. I even shout to the dogs.